Day 11: It's All Greek to Me!!

What in the heck is Greek yogurt??

Motivation: We've all seen that funny commercial with John Stamos and the two wives... well if you missed what they were advertising, it was a brand of Greek yogurt.  I see commercials for several brands advertising Greek yogurt.  I go to the store and see Greek yogurt.  I know at one point I was given a sample of Greek yogurt and it tasted awful.  But what makes yogurt Greek?

Answer: 

I started this with a google search per my norm, using the phrase "what is greek yougurt?"  

One of the nice things about google is that occasionally you will type a question and they will just give you the answer in a convenient box or at the top of the search results.  I think this happened before when I wanted to know how many ounces were in a cup or something like that.

Anyway, here pops up a nice little box that says "web definitions" and give me the definition from- who else- Wikipedia!  Well how do you like that?  My other favorite place to look for all my answers.  Here's the quite lengthy definition:

Strained yoghurt, yoghurt cheese, labneh, or Greek yoghurt is yoghurt which has been strained in a cloth or paper bag or filter to remove the whey, giving a consistency between that of yoghurt and cheese, while preserving yoghurt's distinctive sour taste. Like many yoghurts, strained yoghurt is often made from milk which has been enriched by boiling off some of the water content, or by adding extra butterfat and powdered milk. However most strained Greek yogurts have no added fats and are made of real milk.

Yoghurt strained through muslin is a traditional food in the Levant, Eastern Mediterranean, Near East, and South Asia, where it is often used in cooking, as it is high enough in fat not to curdle at higher temperatures. It is used in both cooked and raw, savoury and sweet dishes. Due to the straining process to remove excess whey, even non-fat varieties are rich and creamy.

Rumination: First of all, could they not have used yogurt anywhere?  It just made me think this wiki answer came from a Brit because they used a u in savoury.  Do British people spell it "yoghurt?"  Maybe that's a question for a future post.

Does this not look like lard floating in broth?

But more importantly, ew.  I had to post the picture they gave on Wikipedia because it looked straight up nasty.  And in the definition it mentions that it has a distinctly sour taste.  Pass!  When I think of yogurt, I do not think of sour.  I understand the draw for the health and weight conscious, though.  It says that Greek yogurt has no added fat and is made of real milk.  And most of us know that diet food is often not that tasty.

There you have it.  If you have not tried it, spend the dollar and get yourself one, then return to this post and let me know what you think.  I for sure will NOT be consuming it again... ew.

Day 10: What in the world is on my pretzels??

Why is Almond Bark called Almond Bark?

Motivation: For Christmas, my husband thought it would be fun to make coated pretzels.  I knew this meant I needed to buy almond bark, so I did.  They had chocolate or vanilla flavored.  It tasted kind of like white chocolate... but why is it called almond bark? 

This is the exact kind that I bought at Walmart... notice the wording.

Answer:

I went ahead and googled my exact question.  Apparently it is quite common because it was suggested to me before I even got done typing it.  

Of course, good ol' wikipedia was my first option.  According to it, "Almond bark (also known as vanilla flavored candy coating) is a chocolate-like confection made with vegetable fats instead of cocoa butter and with coloring and flavors added. It can be bought in packages, blocks, or round discs where candy and baking supplies are sold. The confection is commonly used to cover or dip fruits, nuts, cookies, or crackers, in place of real chocolate."  Oooooookay... so now I know what it is... but none of that said anything about almonds or bark. It even told me see also white chocolate.

Then I got this answer from Cha Cha: It is called almond bark because it is white chocolate and slivered almonds spread flat that resembles knobbly tree bark.

Um, it does?  That's odd, cause the almond bark I used just looked like blocks of chocolate.  

I continued to check link after link.  They mostly gave me the same definitions I got from wikipedia.  Likewise a couple said the things about slivered almonds.  Someone even asked if almond bark had almonds in it.  The user answers ranged from yes and only if you add them in.  Oy.

Rumination: If you say so, people.  I did not see any slivered almonds in my almond bark. I melted it, so wouldn't you think if there were slivered almonds, they would have been in chunks in my melted goo?  I just went into the kitchen and looked at the package... guess what- nowhere in the ingredients does it say "almonds."  So I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that the original almond bark was made with slivers of almonds... but why they don't just sell this now in packages and call it "melting chocolate," I have no stinkin' idea.

Day 9: Laws of Gravity

What would happen if all the stuff in the world fell down except the buildings?

Motivation: My 5 year old asked me this question as I was driving him to preschool this morning.  What a good question!

Answer:

My friend said there would be a lot of bird poop on the buildings, but I don't really understand that logic.  I think that everyone would probably die.  If everything fell down, that would include trees, airplanes... anything that could "fall."  And lots of people would get squished.  And if everything fell down at the same time, it would kind of start piling up and pushing outward... lots of squishing.  But I guess if everyone didn't die, those that were left would be stuck cleaning up the mess... but at least they'd have buildings.  

Rumination: This is a question that clearly has no searchable answer.  In the end, maybe things would eventually go on as normal.  Think about a tsunami, a hurricane, a tornado.  These are devastating natural disasters, which I would say that everything falling down would be.  Each country would have their own issues to deal with.  I'm sure it would take years, but things would probably get back to "normal."

Day 8: Want Some Ink?

Do the people on Tattoo Nightmares and similar tattoo shows get their tattoos gratis?

Motivation: My husband and I have recently started watching the show Tattoo Nightmares on Spike TV.  If you've never seen it, it's where someone will come in and have their old tattoos covered up.  They usually have a crazy story about how they came to have these atrocious tattoos.  So we are assuming they get them paid for by the tv show itself, which got us wondering if shows like L.A. Ink would be paying for the customers' tattoos as well.

Answer:

Since I was already getting the link from Spike's website, I figured that I would look on that page for my answer.  I couldn't find it and got tired of clicking and scrolling, so I thought maybe if I went to wikipedia for the show itself, maybe some clever wiki person might have found the answer.  Get this:  it wasn't there!  No wikipedia post for Tattoo Nightmares.  Back to the google drawing board.  My search was "do the people on tattoo nightmares get their tattoos for free."  Not a very good search, I know, but I'm sure someone had to have asked the same questions. 

Okay, so after quite a bit of time searching and searching and searching, I found this about Ink Master, which is also a show on SpikeTV.  "We checked with the producer and she confirms that "tattoos will be FREE for the people who are chosen as canvases."

Rumination: I'm gonna make an assumption on this one because without calling the producers of the show, I can't know for sure, but I will try tweeting them or asking on Facebook for an answer and if they ever respond, I will update this post.  So my assumption is that if Ink Master gives tattoos gratis to those that are filmed for the show, I'm sure Tattoo Nightmares does as well.  And I would think it would be the same for L.A. Ink, because instead of paying for people to appear, the networks can easily offer a free tattoo for being filmed.  And as most of you with tattoos know, good tattoos are EXPENSIVE... and good tattoos with renowned artists are WAY EXPENSIVE.  So it is actually a really fair trade for some Joe Nobody off the street.

Day 7: Here Kitty, Kitty

Why are calico cats always female?

Motivation: I have a calico cat and while outside with my husband, he called her "Buddy" and he said he keeps thinking she's a boy.  So I informed him about the fact that calico cats are mostly girls and males are rare and worth money.  He had no idea and I thought, "I should really look this up to make sure I actually know what I'm talking about.

Answer: 

I decided this might be a good job for wikipedia if I just search for "calico cat."  

This is my own Calico Kitty (or as we call her, "Cali.")

In case you don't know what a calico cat is, lemme give you an example.  Calico cats are domestic cats with a spotted or parti-colored coat that is predominantly white, with patches of two other colors (often the two other colors are orange tabby and black). Outside of North America the pattern is more usually called tortoiseshell-and-white.

I can't rightly recollect when I first heard this little known fact.  I think my mom told me when we were younger because we may have had a male cat... but I was young and I'm pretty sure my mom didn't know how to accurately determine the gender of kittens and unfortunately the poor kitten got murdered by a wild animal... so it is going to be one of those unsolved mysteries in my life.

Back to the question!  

Because genetic determination of some coat colors in cats is linked to the X chromosome, calicoes are nearly always female. Because of the genetics involved, calico males generally have impaired vitality and are almost always sterile.  I was reading this to my husband and he said, "what is impaired vitality?"  I didn't know, so here's what I found out that means: "vitality" is exuberant physical strength or mental vigor.  And "impaired" means weakened, diminished, or damaged.  Diminished mental vigor?  Yep, sounds like a guy to me!  HA!!

Rumination: My mom was right!  And I remembered something I learned as a youngster and passed it on.  Although calico cats come in crazy different patterns, the most unique thing about them seems to be they are genetic freaks.

Day 6: Who Killed My Mate??

Where do all the socks go?

Motivation: I was doing laundry and wondered if socks ever get stuck under that spinner thing in the middle.  Which made me think about how I have a basket with socks that are missing their mates.  So I wondered if there was a scientific explanation.

Answer: 

I started this with a google search per my norm, using the phrase "where do missing socks go?"  

Clearly this is a very popular question because people had written articles about it, asks thousands of wiki questions and even made YouTube videos!

I really wanted to know, though, so I decided to look for the more scientific sounding websites because this question sounds scientific.  Well, there weren't too many on the first couple search pages, so I went back to one that was an article written for Yahoo.  And guess what- the Holy Grail!  This woman actually did all the research for me and wrote it in her own article.

Here's what I discovered:

1. That thingamajiggy in the middle is called an agitator.
2. My guess was pretty accurate.  According to the article's author, "When I donated an old washing machine several years ago, I pried up the agitator and found nearly 20 missing socks. They had woven themselves around the rod, resembling something like a kindergarten art project. Now, I regularly remove the agitator to check for missing items. To remove the agitator of your machine, simply pry up the agitator cap, unscrew the nut and bolt, and gently tug straight up. It's that simple."
3. Static clean.  This one is fairly obvious.  I am quite sure that everyone has experienced pulling something out of the dryer and eventually finding a sock stuck to it.  (FYI, I HATE HATE HATE static.)

Rumination: Looks like I should be a mensa participant cause I was right.  Sure I didn't know what that spinner thingy was, but my guess was pretty spot on.  I even contemplated doing what she suggested... but I didn't.  I may try to run my hand under there or even like a coat hanger or something, but not right this second.  Someone else had mentioned finding socks in the drain of the washer, but I don't know what that is or how you get there (it isn't my goal on this blog to tell people how appliances function.)

Although I found some logical answers, I think there must be some other phenomena out there, because I doubt the agitator could fit that many socks under it if you think about how long washers usually last and how many socks get washed in that time.

Day 5: 140 Characters of Pure Fun

What are some good one liners that can fit in one Tweet?

Motivation: Me likie the funny.  Man, back in the day when I wasn't inundated by responsibilities I would spend hours on Twitter and I thought it was my own personal stand-up routine platform.  So, I want to find a compiled list of one liners that would fit into a 140 character limit.

Answer: 

I started this with a google search per my norm, using the phrase "one liners that fit on twitter."  I was immediately greeted with several Twitter users that are themselves one liner Twitterererererers.  This included One Liners, Funny One Liners and Haha One Liners.  So I needed to check them out to see if they were actually funny and quality.  FOL was a let down.  I think I only found one of their Tweets out of the first pageful to be funny... that was "I went for a run but came back after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot I'm out of shape and can't run for more than 2 minutes."  I retweeted it.

Haha One Liners was horrific, but through a retweet I did find a really funny Twitterererer by the name of That Creepy Guy.  Hysterical stuff there, folks!  Unfortunately he doesn't reciprocate following, therefore I hate him with a passion.  After that let down I didn't bother looking at the third one I mentioned.

So next I wanted to venture to a website and see if I could find a good one with one liners.    And Bazinga!  I found what I wanted.  It was called 130+ witty one liners and speaks to the FB/Twitter users who wanna say something witty in a short amount of characters.... bookmark created, goldmine established.

Here are a few of my faves that I have read so far:

• Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday
• I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.
• Dear Monday: I want to break up. I am seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sorry. It’s not me — it’s you.
• Some days you’re the dog , some days you’re the hydrant.
• I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-gf and me. After all, I’m a Pisces and she’s a bitch.
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.  (Heard this one before and it's a personal fave!)

Okay, that's enough... go look for yourself.

Rumination: I found what I wanted.  Of course I should have know that when it comes to humor and Twitter, the possibilities are endless.  But now I have to stop blogging so I can go Tweet some of these zingers!!!